missing a diamond on wings, criss cross

persistency over air,
tiresome in searching,
acquiescence comes first,
negation, second.

---------------------------

bother me with boredom,
pass it on with nonsense,
electrify the convenience,
and make known its annoyance.

---------------------------

i'm waking up tonight,
wishful for the morning light,
but alas, in my fright,
nothing i do is right.

he is but a lonely docent,
a train through abandonment,
running its tracks through impermanence,
bounded by benevolence.

actions alone do not define,
alone, they provoke.

crossing

keep one, keep one,
another is on hold. gain another.
save one, save one,
another is lost. craft another.
lose one, lose one,
another blossoms. strengthen another.

obvious choice,
or maybe not

i'm what i am,
i'm what i'm not,
personal definition,
is something and nothing.

come what may

numerical

Collide

(Dishwalla)

When I came here there was more.
Now I've come back to destroy,
And I've got nothing left,
And it's a shame what we've become,
When we hurt the ones we love,
And it's a place I can not go,
Anymore.

When we collide we lose ourselves.
When we collide we break in two,
And as we push and we shove and we hurt the ones we love,
It's a hard mistake.
When we collide,
We break.

When the cold comes crashing down,
And the fight lost what it's about.
I could tell that you'd left.
It's a shame what we've become,
When we hurt the ones we love.
It's a place I can not go,
Anymore.

When we collide we lose ourselves.
When we collide we break in two,
And as we push and we shove and we hurt the ones we love,
It's a hard mistake.
When we collide,
When we collide.

It's a hard mistake,
When we collide.

It's a mistake,
When we collide we lose ourselves,
When we collide we break in two,
And as we push and we shove and we hurt the ones we love,
It's a hard mistake,
When we collide,
When we collide.

It's a hard mistake,
When we collide, we break,
We break

lightened pretence

your wish

just close the door tonight,
seal it tight with silence,
streetlight through the window,
throw at it a mild gust.

black bile,
try that as a panacea,
for when everything fails,
the stubborn old goat won't give.

denial allows for continuation,
the continuation for supposed happiness,
but still happiness, good or bad.
then comes the denial of denying,
a sad little fear jumps into the sunlight,
its shadow bigger than you now.

words unspoken,
best be forgotten.

precaution after precaution,
just go ahead and kiss the sky,
cause as how another would see it,
you're the fool.

time,
is to mend and break.

with eyes closed,
that's how dark it is,
no direction without a hand,
no knowledge without a voice,
just stand, sit or lie down,
i can't see anyway.
a man with his thoughts,
ever wondered why there are so few?
its never a pretty sight,
i guess that's the reason for darkness.

'you're not needed'
i hear whispers.

pencil pushing

a simple word has the ability
to twist and turn itself into
another word,
another sentence,
another paragraph,
all in an essay with all the
hidden stipulations.

we know about all the nonsense,
yet we just go through with the
'believing' and attempts to 'understand'.
'cause we are built on speech, signs and language.
articulate beings,
with sad trying attempts to comfort,
do we really believe whats in our speech?
in our signs, in our writing and in our motion?
even in our thoughts, hopes and beliefs.
do we know the lies we tell
ourselves to comfort others?
or even for personal comfort.
our freewill to change our look on the truth,
we believe its alright though.
hey, its for the 'greater good'.

just believing in what you want,
it becomes this created sincerity
that's actually believable,
even in your eyes.
just let reality kick in later,
you won't be able to tell the difference anymore,
what is, what was and what's made up.
but who cares right?
just create another personality,
another look, character and believe it.
create your own reality,
who can argue against your actions?
you're just living the real life in your own world,
communicate with the outside through a window,
why step out into the rain?
its not make believe,
its made to believe.

which is better?
to try to understand,
or acknowledge that you don't, and stop there?
one leaves another alone,
and the other throws the company into a spiral.
guess when you are just tired of one
you'll try the other.
actually, why should you care?
its really not about you,
to understand or not.
why try to be noble,
when you should try to be you?
why do we come to you?
because of who you are,
not who we want you to try to be.
if we want that,
we would just pick any random
person off the road.
everyone is a great actor when it comes to caring,
well, most anyway,
some just don't give a bother.

forgive and forget,
who says its rubbish?
forgotten,
just not erased.

game

make way for the sight,
let it give leverage to your wake.

who are you?
maybe you should take a look
at what all the fuss is about.
might produce an interesting outcome,
like who you are not.

isn't it tiring?
could just be that illusion,
what you have to believe.
believe not that you are tired,
believe that you are fatigue.

is there point?
pointlessness is a point,
not seeing it is a point,
not feeling it is a point,
just give another one instead.

the sky has lost its colour,
in absence, there is rain.

run and hide,
'cause you fear being remembered
as who and what you were.
was it so different back then?
or was back then who you actually are?
an obligation to the should,
and an escape from the would.

already in place is a solid wall between
presence and past,
and currently, a try at paving a clear road
between presence and future.

you, take off that mask.
i like the other one better.

wallflower,
observe to seek.

measurement

Broken

(lifehouse)

The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight
Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time
I am here still waiting though i still have my doubts
I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you

The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head
I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead
I still see your reflection inside of my eyes
That are looking for a purpose, they're still looking for life

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
with a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you

I'm hangin' on another day
Just to see what you will throw my way
And I'm hanging on to the words you say
You said that I will be ok.

The broken lights on the freeway left me here alone
I may have lost my way now, haven't forgotten my way home

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
with a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you

barely holding on to you

ain't it a beautiful piece?