Arrested Sundown

its been a long day,
and if it all goes well,
the blessings would stay,
and the pains would too.

'i'm not emo'

its a wonder how we can be ignorant
to the actions around us that heals or builds...
I'm not saying those close to us,
or those we see day in and day out.
I mean those who appear once
and never again,
or those who are new additions.
its amazing what small gestures from complete
strangers can do to your life.
acceptance and self-esteem,
and we can't even remember their names after sometime.

attachment without actually getting close,
always with the introduction of something new...
its like looking through a window at a puppy,
the blind joy of love without possession,
that itself is blind, or probably brain dead...
but its a nice feeling,
that transient moment which allows
for 'if's and 'maybe's,
its like a temporary painkiller.

prayer for the heart,
teaches it obedience...

haven't you ever wondered what small gestures
you have given that could have influenced a life?
superficial conversations, a simple smile...
yeah, i laughed at that thought too...
past tense...

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you probably don't know what you did,
you probably will never find out.
you probably forgotten what you said,
you probably forgotten what i looked like.
you probably forgotten the entire incident,
you probably placed me in the forgotten trash.
but i remembered what you did clearly,
i remembered those small gestures.
i remembered what you said,
i remembered what you looked like.
i remembered the flow of the incident,
i remember you.

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white polka dots on a red canvas,
an answer to a prayer much needed.
short lived with the complexity,
there i find acceptance and rejection.
esteem on a roller coaster,
who knew.

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when you're looking for the sun when day breaks,
look towards the east.
when you're looking for a friend when you get lost,
look for me, i'll show you my Friend.

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a play of mind,
where a related numbness is found,
disappearance make its appearance,
take my hand, would you let me share?
i'll try to bother,
even if it may be one sided.

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you taught me that falling without attachment,
is not falling after all,
a placebo when blindfolded,
i see now.

fire for my warmth,
my needs misunderstood,
but the extra heat helps me
recall my blessings.

Thank You God